okaymad:

presenting yourself in a new school on the first day like

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(via okaymad)


smokingjointswithmileycyrus:

before listening to beyoncé

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after listening to beyoncé

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(via human)


megustamemes:

One is not like the other.

(via fake-mermaid)


grimelords:

Telling the substitute teacher the wrong names: a classic. Telling the substitute teacher you are so old and born again every day, that ten thousand names could never define you, that you’re a shadowed mass swirling forth from jupiter, that your father is time and your mother is death, that you’ll swallow any scream of hers as you grow larger and ever larger: a super classic, king of the school, no homework ever.

(via b00tyqua)


dinopuncher:

*tips chromosomes* m’tosis

(via meag-and-thepasterinos)


(via b00tyqua)


(via moistbottom)


ohdaesusie:

this world is so fucked up like one of my friends has carpeting in his bathroom instead of tile like how can someone hate themselves that much

(via twerkerus)


multipack:

excuse me mom but whoever smelt it dealt it so it is in fact YOU who’s doing the weed

(via orgasm)


plot twist: i actually died many years ago this is just a queue 

(via twerkerus)


ruinedchildhood:

Jinkies

ruinedchildhood:

Jinkies

(via okaymad)


londongrimshaw:

[falls in the shower] parkour

(via crystallized-teardrops)


shutupaubrey:

are you a dog? no ? goodbye

(via orgasm)


ethan-lawson-wate:

justabitunlikely:

so who do I get in touch with about marrying obama’s speechwriter

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(via twerkerus)